Looking back...

On Wednesday, March 26, 2008, at the peak of my quarter life crisis, I blogged on my current state of affairs:

• My week-long solo adventure in Costa Rica begins on Saturday.
• My lovebirds, Misty and Smoothie, birthed a new lovebird on March 12 whom I call Anastasia.
• I haven’t been in a serious relationship in 2+ years and I’m ok with that.
• The last few men I’ve expressed interest in have subsequently fled and traveled thousands of miles away.
• I still live with my parents and I still don’t have a car let alone a driver’s license.
• I’m on an ongoing search to discover my life’s passion and purpose.
• I’m moderately bored.
• I think I may have ADD.

Now:

• My life is constantly in flux.
• I moved to California less than 2 years ago, met the love of my life, and married him earlier this year.
• In one month my husband and I are embarking on a 2.5 month long journey through Southeast Asia including Cambodia, Thailand and the Philippines.
• I’m the proud mama of a very handsome kitty we named Sir Darwinius the Gray, Prince of Westlake. 
• I have a California driver’s license but I still don’t drive. Instead, I ride my bike.
• I am funemployed and looking for an exciting career change away from a desk. During our travels, we will be volunteering in marine conservation and I’m hoping this experience will lead me to new career paths in conservation or ecotourism/travel.
• Wanderlust has completely taken over. My insatiable desire to meet the world’s people, visit their countries, embrace their culture, art, antiquities, spirituality, and beliefs has taken me on many unforgettable adventures and I don’t intend to stop anytime soon.
• I anticipate that I will discover my life’s passion and purpose as I travel.
• I may have ADD but I’ve learned the secret to my peace of mind lies in my husband’s embrace.

Some things never change.

My Good Luck Charm

I may have "settled" meaning I have a job and I have unpacked my bags for the time being but that sense of wanderlust is never far away and it rears its beautiful, glorious head at all times reminding of the world that is waiting out there for me.

So where are we going?

Life Lessons

Every day on my way to work, I walk past a cute little quaint art and paper store. Each time I pass the window, I notice a canvas bag hanging on display with the following quote:

"Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life."
- Lawrence K. Fish

I've always been drawn to such greeting cards, magnets, mugs etc. These items are simplistic as simplistic can be, the back drops are black or white and the writings are in the opposite color but what draws me to them are the words written on them... such beautiful words.

Most of the words come in the form of quotes and some of them have really touched my heart. This is because not only could I relate to the simplistic beauty of the words written on these things but I could also learn from these words.

I am definitely going through a stage of my life where I am learning so much about myself and the world around me. Even though this stage can be trying at times I am happy. I am happy because I see so much developing in my life. Only a few months ago I had no idea where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. This is such a departure from where I am right now.

Although I have been reminded lately that my path is not one that is "traditional" whatever that may mean I could not imagine a better path than the one I am on. When I started this blog and this new found spirit of adventure less than 2 years ago the reason behind it all was because I always have known there was something bigger out there for me than the natural American progression through life and this has proved more and more true for me as time moves on.

There are so many experiences I have yet to engage in, so many places I have yet to see... I hunger to participate in this life of mine... to taste every experience to its fullest. And this is exactly what I will search out until this ache of mine has dissipated.

California Sun by Jem

Well I feel like I'm lost in time
Watching the world go by
Everything looks the same
Tired of playing games

It's been getting me down
I know what I need, what I need
California sun
California sun
California sun is calling, is calling me

Now I don't know what I'll find
Just want to get in the car and drive
It's time to escape the shade
Been living too long this way

It's getting me down
I know what I need, what I need
California sun
California sun
California sun is calling, is calling me

Leave my worries behind
Start a new life
Where no one knows me
It's just what I need

California sun (12 times)

Adding more paint to the canvas...

I love taking my ideas, values, and beliefs and turning them into something visually creative and making them permanent. Therefore, I delight in a regular visit to the tattoo parlor. Here are my latest tattoo ideas that i've been working on. I'm torn on which to get (or perhaps get them all) so I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

Origami Crane and Heart
This one is for my wrists. An origami crane on one and an origami heart on the other. The crane is a universal symbol of peace. And of course, the heart symbolizes love. Together, in paper form, they represent the idea that you can create peace and love. And I will place them above my palms/hands as part of the creation theme. Additionally, legend says that 1000 folded origami cranes makes a wish come true. It's also a reminder of my youth. My dad folds origami and I cherished them as a child. I love that we can create something beautiful and interesting with just a sheet of paper. I'm going to fold the paper heart and crane myself and draw them out when I'm finished... or bring them to the tattoo artist to draw.

Scattering Dandelion
I'd like to place this on left part of my back with a quarter of its seeds blowing across and around my existing quote tattoo ("not all who wander are lost"). It means that wishes come true! I used to wish on dandelions them as a kid. I thought maybe having some of the seeds that are blowing away transform into birds but I'm not sure about this yet... but this would symbolize that wishes come true or more literally, dreams taking flight. Also, a quarter of the seeds blown off the dandelion represents my quarter life... as I just recently turned 25. This tattoo will serve as a reminder to appreciate the beauty in all things, to take time and smell the flowers, as we did when we were young.

Both the origami and dandelion tattoo ideas are similar meanings in that they both represent a strong part of youth and this is relevant to me at this point in my life considering that I am truly transitioning into adulthood. Both are interactive and fun and are reminders of there is joy in youth that ought to be cherished and not lost as we get older.

Peacock Feather and Pearls
This one is almost purely decorative. I was in the tattoo parlor browsing through someones portfolio when I stumbled on this gorgeous back piece where a string of pearls and peacock feathers encircled a larger piece which I can't recollect. I was fixated on the vibrant colors of the feathers and how perfect they look paired with pearls. I decided then that I would use a single peacock feather along with a string of pearls as a tattoo design behind my ear. However, after much research, I discovered that the symbolism and meaning associated with the peacock feather and the pearl are actually meaningful and appropriate. The peacock feather is considered a sign of beauty and knowledge; beauty because it is beautiful, knowledge because it is in the form of an eye. A pearl is actually the result of a ragged, rough grain of sand, transformed over time slowly growing into an object of great value and beauty. It is dredged from the mud, from a clumsy shell. It undergoes a transformation, as humans do... as I have.

I Love You, Trent Reznor

I've revisited With Teeth by NIN and was struck by "Right Where It Belongs" as it relates to the quarter life crisis precisely (as does "Everyday Is Exactly The Same"):
See the animal in his cage that you built,
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye,
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all, right where it belongs
What if all the worlds inside of your head,
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your Gods, all the living and the dead
And you're really all alone?
You could live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself, find yourself afraid to see?


I am seeking knowledge, not only for myself but for the sake of the world. I confess that I don't know everything and that I am flawed. There is much for me to learn. I want to expand and challenge myself, in hopes of finding truth. I am finding escape, I am freeing myself from the cliches of what society expects of us. I am trusting my inner self, and my dreams to guide me the rest of the way. I am seeing the world from a new perspective and I want this to share with the world.
Peace be the journey.

And so it begins...

I'm starting a blog to document my quarter-life crisis (it's official, I'm uneasily approaching 25). This will probably consist of my wanderlust adventures and travels, reflections on self-improvement (and self-destruction), crazy bird lady antics, dramatizations of mundane occurrences, anecdotes of worthwhile (and not so worthwhile) encounters, details of my latest ventures, and other random ramblings. that I hope you'll find either entertaining, inspiring, or laughable. I'll try not to write about men and my personal life because they're boring plus I'd rather keep this PG. I'll try to mix in some video and photos often to keep you page-scrollers entertained. Expect many highs and lows as my moods and interests change as much as my underwear (daily, in case you were wondering) but that should keep things interesting.

As for my current state, here's a brief overview:

• My week-long solo adventure in Costa Rica begins on Saturday.
• My lovebirds, Misty and Smoothie, birthed a new lovebird on March 12 whom I call Anastasia.
• I haven't been in a serious relationship in 2+ years and I'm ok with that.
• The last few men I've expressed interest in have subsequently fled and traveled thousands of miles away.
  
• I still live with my parents and I still don't have a car.
  
• I'm on an ongoing search to discover my life's passion and purpose.
  
• I'm moderately bored.
• I think I may have A.D.D.
  

And that should set the tone...

So if you're reading this, please don't be shy. Check back, comment, discuss, share your thoughts, feel free to insult me even! I'll try to keep things provocative and interesting and fun but I'd like to know I have an audience at least so I know I'm not only entertaining myself (i do that enough IRL).

Peace & Love