Working towards my dreams of becoming a Cirque Du Soleil peacock performer…
Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, June 22, 2009
the mystery of houdini's disappearance revealed!
so my sister, kat, and i had a pet hermit crab named houdini. her boyfriend, mark, made him a nice little house in a box where he lived rather lavishly and comfortably, or so we thought.
then one day, he mysteriously disappeared. we weren't surprised, his name was houdini after all. we were sure he'd turn up.
around the same time, kat was hospitalized while she was in school. shes a pretty sickly lil pup, so its not really unusual. but in her backpack, she unknowingly brought home a nice little present.
she told me that that night, when she was getting ready for bed, she heard something rustling around inside of her backpack. she went over and saw that something was trying to unzip itself out. she peered in and saw a rat looking back at her. mortified, she zipped him back him and climbed back into bed but again she heard him unzip himself out. rats are pretty smart, i suppose. i mean, they outsmarted kat.
but he couldn't outsmart the mousetrap. the jif peanut butter did him in.
today, my sister was bidding a final farewell to houdini, accepting that he must have decomposed and scattered himself among the rest of the house dust, and putting away his house. that's when she found little brown pellets at the bottom. it was safe to assume that it was rat poop.
so that solves the mystery of houdini's disappearance. the rat ate houdini.
then one day, he mysteriously disappeared. we weren't surprised, his name was houdini after all. we were sure he'd turn up.
around the same time, kat was hospitalized while she was in school. shes a pretty sickly lil pup, so its not really unusual. but in her backpack, she unknowingly brought home a nice little present.
she told me that that night, when she was getting ready for bed, she heard something rustling around inside of her backpack. she went over and saw that something was trying to unzip itself out. she peered in and saw a rat looking back at her. mortified, she zipped him back him and climbed back into bed but again she heard him unzip himself out. rats are pretty smart, i suppose. i mean, they outsmarted kat.
but he couldn't outsmart the mousetrap. the jif peanut butter did him in.
today, my sister was bidding a final farewell to houdini, accepting that he must have decomposed and scattered himself among the rest of the house dust, and putting away his house. that's when she found little brown pellets at the bottom. it was safe to assume that it was rat poop.
so that solves the mystery of houdini's disappearance. the rat ate houdini.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Nipple Rings Cause Airport Security Issue
A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.
Now how in the hell does a nipple ring pose a threat to flight security? A nipple ring is NOT going to explode the airplane. Unless, of course, her nipples rings were cleverly disguised grenade pins.
Coincidentally, I fly to Costa Rica tommorrow morning.
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